Priceless parenting advice from Seinfeld

16. Feb, 2010 1 Comment

Jerry Seinfeld’s my kind of dad.

Judging by his parenting observations in the latest Parade magazine, Seinfeld and I share a common refrain, that many parents in the modern era have no idea how to be a parent.

You know, the little, insignificant things like discipline.

Ugh.

Seinfeld offers up three rules of parenting, “the poison Ps.”

Praise, problem-solving and pleasure.

On praise, he says “We tell our kids, ‘Great job!’ too much.”

I’m not saying you shouldn’t give a lot of praise, but how does a kid learn what needs to be corrected if he’s always doing a “great job”?

About problem-solving, Seinfeld believes that “We refuse to let our children have problems. Problem-solving is the most important skill to develop for success in life, and we for some reason can’t stand it if our kids have a situation that they need to ‘fix.’ Let them struggle—it’s a gift.”

How true is that? You don’t march down to the school to talk to the teacher every time your 5th grader says they don’t get their math homework. Have her learn to ask the teacher for additional help. You don’t harass your 12-year old’s baseball coach because your son says the coach won’t ever let him pitch. Have your son ask the coach for an explanation. And don’t get me started on the parents who call other parents to ask why their son no longer wants to play with their boy. Let kids be kids, and deal with the ups and downs of why kids weave in and out of friendships as they grow up.

Seinfeld’s third “P” is pleasure, as in giving your child too much of it. He says children today aren’t as innocent as they used to be. “We feel so guilty for destroying that innocence—which is what we did—so we’re now trying to repair that by creating perfect childhoods for our children.”

From the girl who gets a trip to Dairy Queen or McDonald’s after every soccer game to the kids whose bedrooms are messy 24/7 because their parents don’t want the confrontation. What gives?

Some good advice from a man known more for making us laugh than raising his kids.

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One Response to “Priceless parenting advice from Seinfeld”

  1. Kathy Slattengren 16. Feb, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Seinfeld raises a good point. It is easy for parents to fall into the Poison P’s trap of praise, problem-solving and pleasure. Unfortunately the Poison P’s often lead to big Problems down the road.

    It’s not easy to let our kids solve their own problems but that truly is when they learn. I wrote about one Mom’s success in letting her kids figure it out:

    http://pricelessparenting.blogspot.com/2009/02/whose-problem-is-it.html